I've had an eventful few weeks, I must say. My 29th birthday which I wasn't going to celebrate due to an inmpending dissertation dealine went well with friends and family breaking bread with me.
The dissertation nearly sending me into meltdown. I finished it and it was submitted earlier than the Friday deadline. Relief and tiredness.
Thinking about a change of job to be able to get my weekends back with my family. Planning holidays abroad to see my friends and to get a break.
Realising the guy I thought was someone I would explore the possibility of chilling with ended up not being that once the smoke cleared.
I even won a few quid on the Lottery and tickets to Kojos Comedy Funhouse, which was a nice evening out. so its been a strange and mixed few weeks a cliched emotional rollercoaster if you will.
The end of this journey was soured by one stupid individual who took it on himself to racially abuse me circa 1972 style yesterday which was more of a surprise than anything. But for some reason, I was steered from lashing back at him. I think the man upstairs must have pulled me away from that as I am usually the first to retaliate.
what I did take away from that though was that I am stronger than I thought. The past few weeks in fact have. I can cope with high pressure situations (albeit I did get really freaked out a few days before hand in) but I survived and it wasnt as bad as I thought at the time. Something I will try and remember when I face my next hurdle which is inevitably round the corner.
Showing posts with label mistakes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mistakes. Show all posts
Monday, 4 May 2009
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
A funny thing happened on the way to Croydon today ...
I'm walking down my road in sunny East Croydon, stunnas on, hair and nails freshly did from my luxury relaxation day yesterday (my birthday) breathing in some fresh air as I spent a few hours looking at Bernie (my macbook) while working on my dissertation.
Passed one of my neighbours, said hello politely smilled then looked to my right ..... Now I'm not usually a look-through-windows kinda girl, but I had to take a look again.
The homeowner has a widescreen television in full view as their curtains were wide open, I'm assuming to let the light in. I squinted and my first thoughts were confirmed ..... they were watching a porn film. Not only was it a porn film, in full view on a suburban road in South London, it looked like it was one starring a wrinkly older woman with a very scarily large Black man. Yikes!
The funny thing is, my neighbour who I smiled at a few seconds (felt like hours) before realised I was standing with an open mouth in shock then went to ask me what I was looking at, followed my line of sight, and then gasped in shock. We both stood there for a few seconds speechless.
I looked at him, and he at me - we exchanged a nod and walked off in different directions. Can't wait to see my neighbour again ......... er, maybe not! :s
Friday, 5 October 2007
The correlation between being the best you can be and Hill Harper
So, I’m reading Hill Harper’s book: “Letters to a Young Brother.” Initially I bought it as I am a fan of Mr Harper and to be honest fancy the pants off the man and embarrassingly didn’t think the book would be as deep as I’ve now come to realise.
A lot of “Hollywood” types write books and I cannot remember many having any substance. I should really apologise for that assumption, because it not only was unfounded, but making assumptions of people is something we shouldn’t do as being on the receiving end of this isn’t usually a nice experience. So I’m sorry Mr Harper, although if you are ever in the UK, I’d love to say that in person.
But back to the book, the following letter written by Curtis Martin had me think for a good while.
Dear Young Brotha,
Be balanced: secure enough to be vulnerable, strong enough to be gentle, wise enough to be humble, and powerful enough to serve others. Only fear God. Have a quiet confidence, faith and belief that you can conquer whatever life may bring. Put God first, family second and yourself third. Respect others, but remain true to yourself. And at the end of the day, know how to have fun and enjoy life!
Sincerely,
Curtis Martin.
Everything Curtis wrote in this letter made a great deal of sense and there is an awful lot in the book that has solidified my thoughts on many things. Raising lil’ man has put an awful lot of fear on my shoulders; wondering if I’m doing the right thing, questioning everything I do – is it the right thing to do etc. Just reading Hill’s thoughts on subjects such as single parenthood, having respect for yourself and of those around you, education etc and how those around him in influential places also cares about today’s generation is inspiring and also enables me to realise my potential, both as a mother and a person.
Although this book is directed at the young Black man growing up with or without parental guidance and have insecurities/fears, I urge anyone that wants to explore aspects of self improvement to read this book. I don’t read self help books, and maybe I should, but I can tell you it’s worth reading. I am willing to lend you the book if you wish although I did get my copy for under £5 on Amazon.
But back to this particular excerpt, as cheesy as it sounds it’s something I have in a way taken on as a mantra (I’m not a fan of the word, but it describes my using it in my life to remind me of where I want my life to go and who I want to be.) This may not be yours, but it could be a point at which you could start thinking about where you want to be and how you’d want to be remembered by those around you. This is the age where we should have gotten over the awkward age of our teens and at that stage of finding ourselves and who we are, and what we want. But this isn’t always the case, and it’s a fact of life. Just be prepared to do something about it before you wake up one day and not know how to you go to where you are – where you aren’t happy in your life and even worse in your own skin. I’m still in that “under construction” thing myself and it’s great to know that I’m better than I was a few months ago, and have improved miles than the stage I was at even two years ago. I still make mistakes and have made poor judgments as well as even recently having issues with someone I thought I could make mistakes with and grow with, but I’m human am willing to accept my faults and improve on them.
Anyway I have to run, I’ve got to finish dinner. I’ll be happy to talk about the book or about anything in regards to any of the matters raised in this blog. It’s nice to hear other points of view so I don’t become close minded about things.
A lot of “Hollywood” types write books and I cannot remember many having any substance. I should really apologise for that assumption, because it not only was unfounded, but making assumptions of people is something we shouldn’t do as being on the receiving end of this isn’t usually a nice experience. So I’m sorry Mr Harper, although if you are ever in the UK, I’d love to say that in person.
But back to the book, the following letter written by Curtis Martin had me think for a good while.
Dear Young Brotha,
Be balanced: secure enough to be vulnerable, strong enough to be gentle, wise enough to be humble, and powerful enough to serve others. Only fear God. Have a quiet confidence, faith and belief that you can conquer whatever life may bring. Put God first, family second and yourself third. Respect others, but remain true to yourself. And at the end of the day, know how to have fun and enjoy life!
Sincerely,
Curtis Martin.
Everything Curtis wrote in this letter made a great deal of sense and there is an awful lot in the book that has solidified my thoughts on many things. Raising lil’ man has put an awful lot of fear on my shoulders; wondering if I’m doing the right thing, questioning everything I do – is it the right thing to do etc. Just reading Hill’s thoughts on subjects such as single parenthood, having respect for yourself and of those around you, education etc and how those around him in influential places also cares about today’s generation is inspiring and also enables me to realise my potential, both as a mother and a person.
Although this book is directed at the young Black man growing up with or without parental guidance and have insecurities/fears, I urge anyone that wants to explore aspects of self improvement to read this book. I don’t read self help books, and maybe I should, but I can tell you it’s worth reading. I am willing to lend you the book if you wish although I did get my copy for under £5 on Amazon.
But back to this particular excerpt, as cheesy as it sounds it’s something I have in a way taken on as a mantra (I’m not a fan of the word, but it describes my using it in my life to remind me of where I want my life to go and who I want to be.) This may not be yours, but it could be a point at which you could start thinking about where you want to be and how you’d want to be remembered by those around you. This is the age where we should have gotten over the awkward age of our teens and at that stage of finding ourselves and who we are, and what we want. But this isn’t always the case, and it’s a fact of life. Just be prepared to do something about it before you wake up one day and not know how to you go to where you are – where you aren’t happy in your life and even worse in your own skin. I’m still in that “under construction” thing myself and it’s great to know that I’m better than I was a few months ago, and have improved miles than the stage I was at even two years ago. I still make mistakes and have made poor judgments as well as even recently having issues with someone I thought I could make mistakes with and grow with, but I’m human am willing to accept my faults and improve on them.
Anyway I have to run, I’ve got to finish dinner. I’ll be happy to talk about the book or about anything in regards to any of the matters raised in this blog. It’s nice to hear other points of view so I don’t become close minded about things.
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