What’s your role?

I was having one of my “I’m not staying on the phone long, Mess” and still finding we are on the phone for an hour conversations last night and Messiah brought up the subject of reasons why people are in your life, and we spoke about the roles your friends have in your life and since coming off the phone to him I came up with a small list some included;

The Advice Giver, The Sponge (taking and taking) The Builder (building up their friends – sometimes to their own detriment) The Belittler – that one was light hearted, but I can safely say I know a few of those I’ve had to cut out my life, The Drama Queen/Only Childer (not always an only child, but they display symptoms of being spoilt and throwing the toys out the pram when things don’t go their way) The Glass Half Empty and The Ray of Sunshine. The last one being my favourite as I can look at quite a few of you and think of you as being this role. Miss Hamilton at the top of that list J

Although I don’t like to put people in boxes as it drives me mad when people do this to me, you do have to wonder and question some friendships you do have. I’ve had to do this most of my life, so it’s no surprise that I’ve recently had to just let go of people. I’m not heartless or anything like that, but with all that’s going on I cannot dedicate every waking moment to people as I’ve not even much time to do me right now. But sometimes just don’t seem to understand this.

All I know, is good or bad I learn from each one, and chalk things down to experience hopefully making me understand why people do what they do when they do it.

Anyway, the list is far from complete and I’d welcome any suggestions/ changes. I’ve put the list below for ease of reading.

What’s your role in life?

• The Advice Giver
• The Sponge
  
• The BuilderThe Drama Queen/Only Childer
• The Glass Half Empty
• The Ray of Sunshine

Converse, Kriss Kross and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Okay, the blog thing has taken me by the throat and won’t let me go. I’m officially a blogger. *shudders*

Nothing I can do now, so let’s get on with what I came on to write. A few things have jogged my thinking a conversation about the smile you did as a kid when told to for photos and the clothes worn in school/family photos.

I was lucky to go to a school where we wore our own clothes, when I say lucky, I guess I mean lucky for the clothing manufacturers that used us as human guinea pigs to carry out controlled experiments with questionable colourways and fabrics. Thankfully Mum wasn’t a sentimental parent and there isn’t a great deal of photos lying about. But thinking about my favourite clothes as a child, especially the ones I really loved its funny. I mean there were certain items I had that got washed a few times a week so I could wear them as often as possible. I remember a t shirt for example that I made – I cut it into a belly top (who remembers those) and I painted on the front red and blue and wore them with some shorts I liked and knee high socks (yikes!)

Then there’s a denim shirt with embroidery on the front with pearl poppers instead of buttons. Oh, and let’s not forget a tartan skirt I wore relentlessly. My list is endless.

As bad as the fashion was, I loved picking out my clothes every morning and knowing that it was my personal stamp on the World. To an extent, we all have that as adults, but it’s stifled with the thought of not fitting in with the right circles etc. and it sucks. Go out this weekend with something you don’t wear as much as you don’t feel comfortable and hold your head as high as you did when you were eight years old and walking to school to tell your friends that you picked out that outfit that morning all by yourself.

To address the photo smiling we did as kids, I love the real huge smiles kids do; especially the real ones. They remind me of the lack or responsibility we all had as well as how huge my teeth were and how it’s only now at twenty *mumbles* that I have finally grown into the huge tombstones that are in my mouth. I say at least one photo you have on Facebook should be of you now at the age you are with that smile. Just for a bit of fun.

I’ll be setting up a little group soon along the lines of the innocence of youth, which will be purely pictures of the members as kids, I invite each and every one of you and the only requirement I have is that you post a pic of you as a kid; particularly a staged school/family portrait photo.

Much love x

If music be the food of love...

... I want to be in love forever!

It’s amazing how music can have such an impact on a person’s life. I mean, I’ve always loved music of all types from as long as I can remember and my CD collection reflects this.

I remember being looked on as being really weird at secondary school and college as Green Day, Skunk Anansie, Prodigy, Republica, No Doubt were amongst my Usher, Donnell Jones, Montell Jordan, Jodeci etc. I have never conformed I guess to the stereotype of a young black female from South London and for all the grief I got I’m quite proud.

The reason I started writing this blog was really because the past few weeks have not been the happiest for me for many reasons, and while at work yesterday listening to music as I stared at my computer screen for 6 hours Kanye West’s “We Major” came on and for those three minutes I felt so relaxed for the first time in ages. So I played it on repeat for most of the day.

It is a tad obsessive when I realise how long it was on, but that’s the nature of music. From hunting down export CDs for certain mixes in my teens or buying around £100 a week in albums, to present day where I’m torrenting like my life depends on it finding Talib’s album as I’ve been waiting ages for it, my life is centered around music. While you guys are out there having lives.

Classical music or Leela James to relax me, to jungle/drum and bass for hyping me up before a night out with my friends, music shapes my life. And for all it’s faults and it’s 50 Cents of this world, I wouldn’t change it one bit!